Why Am I Not Enlightened Yet?

Abide as Awareness

What You See is What You Get

I would imagine you are reading these words on a screen.  Maybe you are sitting on a chair or couch, or perhaps lying in bed.  If it’s a nice day, you might be outside, gently swinging in your hammock, iPad in one hand, iced tea in another.

This right now is Your World.  What you see…the screen, your body, the space around you; what you feel…the sensations in your body; your thoughts, all Your World.

Get up and walk around.  Go to a window and look out.  Look up.  Look down.  Look behind.  Notice how your world changes with your change of viewpoint, your change of perception.  It seems as if you are constantly changing Your World.

So now go back to where you started.  Is it the same world you were in a moment before?  How do you know that?

Weeding

How have Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiries helped me?  They have helped me see through what I once took to be real.

The belief in “not being good enough”, that there is an actual person here who is deficient, is examined and seen through.

I carried the belief of “not being good enough” my whole life.  It colored the way I saw the world, how I related to people, my success or failure.  Everything was filtered through this belief.  No matter what I tried or how hard I tried, in the end, it would be sabotaged by this core belief.

By being facilitated in the Living Inquiries, I have learned how to look at the components of this belief. The thoughts around it, the images around it and the sensations or emotions in my body that seem to confirm it.

To give an example, let’s say that as a child, my father asked me to do some weeding in our garden.  He explained that it was important to pull or dig out the whole plant, roots and all.

At first as I started out on this task I followed his instructions precisely, then later on I became a little sloppy.  Maybe it was hot working in the sun, or maybe I got tired, but eventually I ended up just pinching off the tops of the weeds and leaving the roots in the ground.  I was hot and tired and just wanted to get finished so I could play.

An hour or so later, my father came back to see how I was doing.  It wasn’t even that he got angry or anything, but I could see the disappointment in his face and hear it in his voice. I had so wanted to please him, I was crushed.  I felt I was not good enough for him. There was an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness in my body.

My Dad was a kind man and he patted me on the shoulder, “You’ll do better next time”, he said, and he walked away.

Throughout my life, experiences like this have seemed to confirm that I am not good enough. It’s as if it is more important to uphold the belief than to see the reality.

The belief that I am that person, the “not good enough” person, became my identity, without it who was I?

In the Living Inquiries, I was guided to look at this belief, to really look at what was actually going on.

There was a thought in the form of words, “I am not good enough.”  Was the inadequate self there?

And there were sensations in my body resonating and echoing the truth of this belief.

There was the image of my father’s disappointed face.

But if I looked at each thing separately, a truly miraculous thing happened. I saw only thoughts, only images, only sensations. Nowhere could I find this person, Me, who is not good enough.  I finally realized that this person does not exist.

If you would like more information about this process, or maybe just to chat, please contact me by clicking here.

Or to view a session of Living Inquiries with Scott Kiloby, click here.

Jivan Child is a certified Living Inquiries Facilitator trained in the Unfindable Inquiries, The Boomerang, The Panorama and Compulsion and Anxiety Inquiries.  To schedule a session, click here.

Reality

Page from the book, Reality, by Peter Kingsley

Letting Go

The world is inside you.
Let your emotions go, free them.
Let go of the kite strings.
Life then moves inside your heart, rather than seeming to be outside of you.

This is It!

Where is the future? Is it somewhere out there waiting for you? Why has no one ever discovered “The Future”?

Where is the past? What happened yesterday is just a memory/thought. There is no actual yesterday.

There is only Now, and even that is a little sketchy.

This present experience is all there is. To realize this is freedom.

Seeking

What are you seeking?
The list is endless…love, money, peace, enlightenment…and when you get it, more love, more money, deeper peace, sustained enlightenment.

There is nothing wrong with seeking. It can be a fun game like Hide & Seek. But when it becomes like a dog obsessively chasing its own tail…

Is it a compulsion?

Suffering

The belief in one thought, any thought, is suffering.

The Miracle of Experience

A warm breeze on your face.
Cool grass beneath your feet.
Clouds rolling by.
All saying nothing, wanting nothing.
Where does it come from? Do you need to know?
What does it all mean?
Let it be.